Monday, 28 November 2011

  • I just thought I should post something

    I'm normal. I'm happy in a lot of ways, but sad in others. I crave human relationships. I really do. I just feel so alone sometimes. But God and my church friends have made life so worth while. But in school I feel so alone and fake. Like I'm not a real person. And everyone else is fake. No one REALLY likes me. They like me when they see me, to entertain them. But that is all I am and all I'll ever be.

    I just want a real personal relationship with someone that I can tell them everything in, and be myself around, and share everything with. But, I have yet to find that person.

Thursday, 06 October 2011

  • It just feels like I don’t have any friends.

    People are being nice about my birthday which is cool, but I just don’t think anyone actually cares, which I guess I don’t blame them for. I just wish I had a true best friend again. I’m just stuck here wondering what it is about me that just let’s people be bored with me.

    I know I’m REALLY annoying. But I can’t help that for some reason. I don’t want to be, I just am. But once I start I can’t stop and people want me to just pause but I can’t and I hate that and I just want someone to want to keep me forever but that isn’t ever going to happen, and I just want someone, anyone at this point to be my friend forever.

Tuesday, 04 October 2011

  • So I'm sick of you being all hot and cold with me all of the time. You'll love me one second, then you'll just completely disregard me. It's annoying. And strange, because I thought we were actually becoming friends sort of. We even talked in band class today.

    Stop taking all of my friends. I'm not going to have any left.

    I don't know who or what I want right now. It's aggravating. 

    I wish I had a best friend to obsess over my birthday. Even though I don't really care. I think I just keep talking about it so it isn't forgotten and ignored. Like me.

Thursday, 22 September 2011

  • I remember when I had two best friends that practically competed for my attention. Now it's just so HARD to keep even one close friend, and I don't know where to turn to. I want someone that I can have a permanent connection with. I thought I had that. Soo many times before, I thought I had that. It seems like every close friendship I have now seems to dissipate into thin air. I wish I knew how to fix that. But I don't know where to start, and it's just so hard for me to have an actual conversation now. I just...I have no idea Who I am or who I'm suppose to be when I never really gave it that much thought before.

    You are showing up everywhere all of a sudden, and I'm starting to wonder if it's a sign that I should try to talk to you or something. But I'm not sure. I don't think I can do that. But it makes me so sad thinking of what was.

Tuesday, 20 September 2011

  • I miss my new found sanity.

    I miss the me I was this summer, and I need to try my best to get her back.

    I need to reconnect with God. I've at least read the Bible this week, but I need to do that every day and pray often and feel God's presence throughout the day.

    I miss feeling like people loved me.

    I miss feeling like I'm a part of something.

    I miss people.

    I miss Church.

    I miss not thinking of how others thought of me.

roxy1717

  • Visit roxy1717's Xanga Site
    • Name: roxy1717
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 12/7/2009

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